Healey Forced to Start as Molescroft Win on the Road

A severely depleted Molescroft Rangers side travelled to play FC Ridings, knowing a win would keep them in touch with leaders and local rivals Hodgsons Reserves.  Absentees included goal keeper Bryce (who was doing his NVQ Level 4 childcare exam), “Ice Man” Tony Walker (who was resting his hamstring), Gary Walmsly (who was mascot at Hull City), Assistant Recreational Soccer Executive (A.R.S.E) James Radley (who was out buying a mobility scooter) and also Phil Windeler (who as well as being banned was busy cultivating his moustache).

With so many missing, Manager Healey was forced to shuffle the team, starting himself at left back and pushing captain Nicholson into a more forward role alongside Pikey Spruce.  Selby Warhorse Bolger continued in the centre of midfield, alongside local rap sensation Joe Coates.  This just left the task of filling goal keeping legend Bryce’s gloves who has kept clean sheets in over half the games he has played in this season, more clean sheets in fact than right-back Richards manages in a week at home.

The position was still unfilled whilst the team got changed, and amidst the dark unlit concrete bunker a hero came forth – Rich Dixon, fresh from his rib removal operation, held his hand aloft ready to speak.  The team held their breath; was the team joker about to come to their rescue…… ?? “I need a Poo!”  Not what they expected, the bizarre statement took his teammates by surprise but also led him to be nominated to play in goal with little complaint from Rich, who by this time had found a corner in the changing room to do his do’s.

Upon arriving at pitch side, it became clear what a  task Molescroft had in front of them.  FC Ridings were a team full of giants who fully intended in using physical presence to unsettle the visitors.  The first half couldn’t have started  any better, with Pikey Spruce pouncing on a goal-keeping howler to slot home with only five minutes gone to give Molescroft the lead and continue his run of a goal in every game.  The rest of the half was a tight affair, with Ridings restricted to long-range efforts, all easily dealt with by stand in keeper Dixon.

The second half was a completely different with Molescroft attacking throughout, scoring their second five minutes in through Spruce, out-muscling his defender to fire home from 10 yards.  Two soon became three when Spruce was felled in the box, leaving Captain Nicholson with the inevitable of scoring the third from the spot.  Three up with half an hour to go and Moley could have been forgiven for taking their foot off the pedal, but that wasn’t to be.  Sam Dixon, who as well as setting up the first goal had the unenviable fame of throwing up all over the pitch after a heavy Friday night, was replaced by Massey and he soon continued where his colleague had left off.  Billy Pardoe, who’d had a great game on the left of midfield, finished a flowing move for the fourth goal and capped his performance with an electrifying run for the fifth.  Picking up a ball on the halfway line he drove forward, escaping not one but two cynical challenges, both of which could have easily led to red cards had he gone down, to fire a looping shot from twenty yards past the dejected Ridings keeper to the adulation of his adoring travelling fans.

The final whistle signalled the end of a fine smash-and-grab raid by Moley, with stand-out players Spruce, Pardoe, Coates, Dixon and Bolger just pipped for the Man of the Match award by centre back Phillips, whose cool interceptions and distribution epitomised his team’s play.

Next week sees what Sky Sports would dub “Super Saturday” as the big four from the division play each other in a weekend that could well go a long way to deciding how the division could pan out;  top of the table Hodgsons Reserves host 2nd in the table Wawne Ferry Reserves, whilst 3rd placed Molescroft travel to 4th placed Hornsea Town Reserves.  Sky are expected to feature one of the games live with the other being the feature on “football first” on Saturday evening.

Final score FC Ridings 0 Molescroft Rangers 5

Above: Phil Windeler (who as well as being banned was busy cultivating his moustache)